Not One to Brag

Emotional vent blog, you've been warned. I have never been one to brag about getting good grades or assessments as they were called in my high school. I have always however been an excellent student. Growing up in a Montessori school, and then an essential school, we got personalized progress reports written by our teachers and mine [...]

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Self Worth

This is a quick note on self worth as I have a thesis deadline to get back to. I have struggled with self worth as long as I can remember. I always sacrifice my own feelings for others benefits. I simply do not think I am worth anyones time. Today I finished a large section [...]

Looking 13ack

I made it through the craziest party weekend of the year without drinking. I however also did not participate in any social activities. But see, I don't find joy in throwing colored dust at people just to take pictures and post on facebook. I also don't have fun jumping up and down in an overheated [...]

At This Time

I was put on anti depressants again almost three weeks ago. I stopped drinking again almost six weeks ago. I am careful about watching my relationship with alcohol because my family has a history of alcoholism. But I really want to drink. Drinking lets me pause my mind. Or just lets me feel everything all [...]

Nobody Knows.

It is almost 2AM. I am now more than half way through my final undergraduate spring break. I have been working on my thesis, watching movies and listening to audio books (advice, self help audio books can be great but also can be very damaging if they are not taking into consideration things like LGBT [...]

Embrace

I am swinging between being entirely numb to being in immense emotional pain. A situation hits you harder than you expect sometimes. I offer these words of experience. Anything you are feeling, feel it. Deeply and broadly. Feel whatever you feel because it is there and you cant stop it but it will ebb and [...]