Nuance

David Schneider (a guy quoted in one of the many academic articles I have been reading for my thesis) : "Simply knowing that a word can have many meanings, and simply knowing which are the many meanings a word can have, are not enough. What is necessary to know is which meanings apply when, and [...]

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Soulmate(s)

I have loved immensely. I have loved with longevity. I have loved passionately. That being said I have loved mostly from afar. Or closely as a friend. I have these days where all the people I have loved cross my mind. Today was one of those days. All is quiet with all who I love. [...]

At This Time

I was put on anti depressants again almost three weeks ago. I stopped drinking again almost six weeks ago. I am careful about watching my relationship with alcohol because my family has a history of alcoholism. But I really want to drink. Drinking lets me pause my mind. Or just lets me feel everything all [...]

Nobody Knows.

It is almost 2AM. I am now more than half way through my final undergraduate spring break. I have been working on my thesis, watching movies and listening to audio books (advice, self help audio books can be great but also can be very damaging if they are not taking into consideration things like LGBT [...]

Living in the Quiet

I keep hearing people talk about silence between two people who love each other as a bad thing. I think it depends on context. If it was because too many things were left unsaid then yes. You’re right, that isn’t good. But see, in my future I see me standing there on the porch of [...]

I Forgot.

Last night I had people give me attention, and embrace me. I went to a college party stone cold sober and stayed that way for 2.5 hours before going home. Despite the moronic debauchery occurring in several overcrowded apartments, it was a refreshing evening. I will be inventing something called 'College Party Bingo' incase anyone is [...]

Embrace

I am swinging between being entirely numb to being in immense emotional pain. A situation hits you harder than you expect sometimes. I offer these words of experience. Anything you are feeling, feel it. Deeply and broadly. Feel whatever you feel because it is there and you cant stop it but it will ebb and [...]