David Schneider (a guy quoted in one of the many academic articles I have been reading for my thesis) : “Simply knowing that a word can have many meanings, and simply knowing which are the many meanings a word can have, are not enough. What is necessary to know is which meanings apply when, and which of the many meanings does not apply or is not relevant under what circumstances.”

I feel warm inside for the first time in a while. I sent her the letter a few weeks ago now, the one with the pressed flowers. I sent her a text message yesterday because I missed her and decided to stop over thinking that too much.

She replied today and said she would be sending me something soon. I will keep you posted.

There are so many nuanced ways to interact with someone and each interaction can mean about 100 different things to each person involved. Every word that is chosen, every hesitation, change in tonality, or glance, each have their own set of definitions but can have altered meanings from second to second.

I am just going to be honest with my self and with my feelings. And if that is enough, then good. If not I will find someone someday who thinks it is. No more over thinking. No more inauthenticity. Just me. Always and forever.


Photo: Half Eaten. NC, Spring 2017.

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