They, Them & Theirs.

Hi, my name is (irrelevant) and I use they/them/theirs pronouns.

A lot of people like to say there is something political about identifying as gender non-binary or nonconforming but honestly, speaking for myself here, I am just trying to be myself. I tried being a woman. I succeeded, but I was devastatingly depressed to the point where it was either try something else or die.

So doctors being doctors and society being society, I tried the only other option available to me; being a man. This was all fine and dandy for a while because I was able to come closer to presenting my authentic self. Some hormones and a chest reconstruction later I am more comfortable with myself than I ever have been.

However, in the last several years there has been something gnawing at me inside. I am not a man, and I will never be one. I do not see myself as a man. I do not want to see myself as a man. I dress the way I dressed when I was a woman and comfortable as myself. People say I look like a man so that makes me one, and sure if you want to see me as one then I challenge you to also accept the fact I have ovaries, a uterus and vagina, all perfectly functional if I were to stop using hormones.

Humans have the capability to achieve so much more than we are right now. I am not saying there is no such thing as a woman, and I am not saying there is no such thing as a man. I am simply saying there is more. Pronouns are hard. I know. The first time I met someone who used they/them pronouns I basically lived with my foot in my mouth for about 5 weeks before it became habitual. And guess what I still slip up.

Cisgender people, especially those in power, such as college presidents, like to think that the queers have it all figured out and can just switch peoples pronouns at the drop of a hat, but no! WE FUCK UP! TRUST ME. The only difference is we are willing to try. We are willing to change and accept all identities.

I can’t quite form an argument yet, but it is something like how men think they have to give things up for women to be treated equally. When that isn’t what feminism is.

I am not asking you to give up your identity. I am just asking you to grant me the same privilege.

(Photo taken by a friend while we were exploring Denmark, this is one of the filming locations for The Danish Girl, there was a rainbow and it was perfect.)

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